I HAVE STARTED BABY!

Yeah...at least in front of my webcam LOL...

The first picture in my blog of myself

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I HATE NORWAY

One gender clinic with 5 million citizens - and they have a monopoly in treating transsexuals (why the hell do they have a monopoly?)

Thats NORWAY.

I have read that several transsexuals have either transitioned on their own or committed suicide after being rejected by GID (the only clinic for transsexuals in Norway. It's owned by the government).

I want to start

Yep.

I want to start transitioning to be a woman.

Have done several things lately...ordered a wig among other things.

I have trouble to get started though.
It's like theres always something in the way.

I just want to dress up as good as I can...then go out there as a woman and see how it feels like.
I imagine it will feel good. If so, I will try to live full time as a woman.
If I still feel good about it...the next step is to take hormones and start to transition to be a woman physically.

I feel like I want to start to be a woman now...
    

Creativia

Feeling like I am creative.
If I had been myself my whole life, maybe I would have been å creative woman by now.

The good news:
It not to late!

I can do it;
transition to be not only a woman, but also a creative one.

Music and poetry kind of feel like my favourite kind of creativity, but I’m open to anything :)

Writing in order to think

I have to use words in order to think.

Either talk or write.

Since I don't have anyone to talk to, writing becomes the right thing to to.

I have been watching a bunch of transsexual videos on YouTube lately.

I remember thinking that I wish I was one of them. That I was transsexual.

I think what I wish for is to transition completely and become as much woman as I possibly can.

That means going threw Sex reassignment surgery (SRS).

I feel like I need to experiment with being a woman by dressing up as a woman at home first, then go out as a woman with make up and everything.

I also feel like I need to educate myself more.

There is so much info online about trans sexuality. I need to read more of that info and try to learn it.

Maybe there are good books about it also that I ought to read.

This whole transitioning thing is gonna take time. Years as I have mentioned earlier.

Since I live alone and have nobody to talk to, it is important that I compensate by writing.

Using words are necessary for me in order to think properly.

After a while I also should seek therapy by a specialist in this things.

Another idea is to try to connect with other trans gender people and maybe be friends with them. It would be awesome if I could find a person like my self and be friends in real life.

I have started exploring transitioning

Ordered women clothes and make up.

Dressing up and see how it feels to be a woman.

Thats my plan.

If I feel better, then next step is to go out dressed as a woman.

Wonder if I will pass as a woman.

I want to figure out if I want to change my sex.

I kind of feel like I want to.

One thing that bothers me is family.

What will they think when they find out?

But I haven't had contact with most of them for several years.

I don't like my parents.

I dont really care what they think.

Why even tell my family? If I hardly have had contact with them the last couple of years and dont care what they think of my plan.....then there is no point in telling.

I don't expect any help from them anyway. This is something I have to do on my own.

I would feel shameful anyway being dressed as a woman in front of them. I imagine that would be very embarrassing at emotionally painful.

If I had loved my parents and I felt like the loved me....that would be one thing....but if I don't even like or respect them?

Hm....I actually feel like just starting on this journey without telling them.

Just change my sex and start a new life.

If they find out, they find out, if not, they don't.

I didn't plan on spending time with them either way.

My main problem is that I'm not happy with myself as I am now.

If transforming myself to a woman can make me happier, it will be worth it.

Im kind of doing it in stealth mode.

I like the word "stealth".

I'm living undercover, he he.

Almost like an alien transforming in secrecy to a human being.

When I'm finished I'm gonna suck your brains out. Need human brain. Me hungry.