I HAVE STARTED BABY!

Yeah...at least in front of my webcam LOL...

The first picture in my blog of myself

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Struggling with getting started

I have dressed up home alone as a woman.
Next step is to go outside as a woman.
That's what I struggle with now.
I have ordered a new wig + more clothes that I can wear outside.

I want to be as passable as possible before going out as a woman.

Probably a good idea to loose some weight as well.

So apparently it's going to take quite some time before I can get started to live as a woman.

Transitioning takes time.
Probably 2-3 years or so?
Patience is a virtue...

I HATE NORWAY

One gender clinic with 5 million citizens - and they have a monopoly in treating transsexuals (why the hell do they have a monopoly?)

Thats NORWAY.

I have read that several transsexuals have either transitioned on their own or committed suicide after being rejected by GID (the only clinic for transsexuals in Norway. It's owned by the government).

I want to start

Yep.

I want to start transitioning to be a woman.

Have done several things lately...ordered a wig among other things.

I have trouble to get started though.
It's like theres always something in the way.

I just want to dress up as good as I can...then go out there as a woman and see how it feels like.
I imagine it will feel good. If so, I will try to live full time as a woman.
If I still feel good about it...the next step is to take hormones and start to transition to be a woman physically.

I feel like I want to start to be a woman now...
    

Creativia

Feeling like I am creative.
If I had been myself my whole life, maybe I would have been å creative woman by now.

The good news:
It not to late!

I can do it;
transition to be not only a woman, but also a creative one.

Music and poetry kind of feel like my favourite kind of creativity, but I’m open to anything :)

Time & Learning

It’s going to take time to learn how to program (in PHP).
It seems like I have to repeat things several times to remember them.
I also have to read things several times to understand them in the first place (he he).

I believe my 42 year old brain  is capable of learning new things.
I have read that older brains can learn new things, but that it takes longer time compared to younger ones.
Being patient and persistent sounds like a good idea.

I will learn this in the end as long as I don’t give up.

My brain might be a bit slow, but it’s creative.
I have so many ideas to websites etc.
If I manage to learn how to program, I can start to create some of those websites into reality.

EXCITING!

I would like to add that my goal to learn PHP programming is kind of dynamic.
If I find out I want to do something else, I can change it.

Let's keep an open mind.

When changing sex some of my interests, hobbies what I want to work with etc. might also change.
  

Back to reality

After a little vacation from reality I kind of want to return to it.

I have started to study PHP in an effort to learn how to program.
I have many ideas to websites I can create.

Why do I feel like escaping from reality?
Because our friend REALITY haven’t been good to me so far in life.
But if transitioning to be a woman makes me happier, then life can be worth living.
If so, there is no reason to escape from it.

I can start living in reality as a woman and be happy :)

Note to self: try not to focus on negative things like my past or possible problems related to transitioning. If something goes wrong I can deal with it when it happens.